Do I Want To Know?
by another-lesley
Summary: Pidge likes a lot of things. She likes programming. She likes having her family close to her. But she doesn't know what to do with herself when she "like likes" someone. Rating can change in case of future chapters and when they age up.


A/N: Hi! This is my first fanfic so feedback is greatly appreciated!This isn't beta read so have mercy. I am more than likely to continue this even if people don't like it. I need to start somewhere ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ and I know where I want this to go so sue me or help me. And this is going a small part of a bigger series when they get older and more dramatic things happen. My oc's will be put in here eventually. Eventually. And just fyi this is completely platonic until those other chapters. And pining Pidge.

* * *

 _Why is this bothering me so fucking much?_ is the question that has forced its way into Pidge's head after the tiny comment her dad made about a small dispute between Hunk and herself. About what? Single or double-modulation.

 _"Ah. Modulating arguments. That's how your mother and I met."_

This is torture.

Pidge had to admit, yeah she likes Hunk. Like _"like"_ likes him. And she's been feeling this for some time. She's a sixteen year old girl let her fucking be. Everyone technically is. Especially since no one knows. The only person not letting this slide is herself.

But now, it seems that her own dad knows too. You bet your ass he isn't going to let that slide so easily either. And whether Pidge wants to admit it or not, she cares about what her dad thinks. Maybe even about crushes. She would have told Shiro, but he hasn't been feeling well lately. She wouldn't want to put that on him.

Pidge's erratic coding turns more frantic with the passing thought of just wanting to talk about it. Her lines of code are always impeccable and hardly have any flaws that impede its intended purpose, but right now lines are being highlighted red with "ERROR" flashing onscreen and infinite loops that aren't supposed to be there are just there.

"Fuck you too!" Pidge screeches with one hand balled into a fist and the other points accusingly at her defenseless hologram screen as she shuts it off. She buries her blushing face into her hands. Out of all people on the ship she could have developed feelings for, her heart beated quicker for her best friend. The "unk" in Team Punk. The genius sweet engineer to her cunning witty programmer. It would have spared her the embarrassment if she had a crush on Lance. If she did, she could play it off as loverboy doing his loverboy shtick to often. If it was Keith she could have blamed his emo demeanor for the stereotypical trope of "girl is into bad boy" thing pop culture made her see in movies. Something she could blame that wasn't feelings.

But no. Her little nerdy heart had to develop real feelings for someone she really thought about that way. Hunk is the sweetest person she's ever met. A hunk of a guy. He cares for everyone. He's smarter than everyone gives him credit for. He cares and can always make you feel so damn special. His hugs are the equivalent of being wrapped by a fluffy blanket that doesn't overheat and isn't too fluffy to the point of feeling smothered. And his smile. _That fucking smile_. It can light up a room and make you feel so warm inside. That's not even counting all the talks she's had with him about almost every subject possible. From something as trivial as single or double-modulation to wondering about what life would have been like if they stayed on Earth. The life they could have had…

Damn that was a conversation. Maybe that's when things changed. When what deep friendship turned to a painful crush now full of pining and just a little bit of pain. Goddamnit.

"Um. You good?"

 _Oh no. Now Lance_.

His voice made her suddenly conscious of where the she was and what the fuck she was doing. She squirmed into a regular sitting position as quickly as she could, at the very least feigning composure. She failed.

"Jesus Christ Lance!"

"Sorry! But I'm not the one that looks like I ate an alien tomato with a red face."

"... What does that even mean?"

"I don't know! Point is you look red." Lance motioned a little circle in the air with his finger at her. Although the gesture seemed mocking, his voice had genuine concern. "Are you okay?" His eyebrows being furrowed.

 _ **No.** Not really._

"Yeah. I'm good." She looked at him best she could but she couldn't quite bring herself to look him in the eye. _What a terrible liar._ Lance isn't one to be fooled for the most part. He has two sisters, two brothers, and a niece and a nephew. You can't fool him with any of this. If anything he looked hurt with his mouth turning to a slight frown as he stood somewhat hovered over her.

They both grew closer as time's gone on. She saw him as another Matt with more insight on skin care and just a little less brains. Overall, Pidge felt a familial bond with Lance. They did treat each other like siblings with the crush teasing of his slight infatuation with Allura and even more teasing about the romantic tension Lance has with Keith. Thing is, not everyone exactly wants to have a crush talk with a brother. Mostly since said brother is best friends with said crush. Lance even yells "Language!" whenever Pidge tries cussing with human swears.

Pidge took notice of the frown. How am I supposed to lie to an overgrown puppy what the fuck.

"Okay. Honestly…" she started with a sigh "I'm just really stressed. I mean look at us. I'm sixteen. You and Hunk are still 17 and going on 18 soon. And here we are literally in space and the universe is depending on us. I know we didn't ask for it but what the f- I mean quiznak." She looked sincere looking up at Lance's face. She wasn't lying, that's how she felt, it wasn't the reason she was just being a blushing mess but it was a partial truth. Hopefully that would be enough to get him off her case. She really doesn't want to worry him either.

"Yeah. I get you." He settled next to her by slightly leaning on Pidge's chair with a distant look on his face. "If it makes you feel better, we all have each other. And right now won't be forever. Next thing you know you'll be back home with your mom, your brother and hey, your dad is back!"

He gave a faint smile looking back at Pidge, "We'll all be okay. And we can all look back at what we did together. You can go back to being your nerdy self and doing your nerdy thing."

"Yeah… Thanks Lance." She proceeded to punch his arm off her seat with a little smirk. He really is a good friend.

"Ow! Jesus you punch is like ten times harder now. I blame Hunk for that. His muscles really rubbed off on you."

 _Really Lance?! Did you really need to word it that way?! I stop, and you pull me back in._ Just as Lance was walking away, he see's Pidge starting up her screen again, which would have been normal, but he sees a light blush spread across her face. It wasn't there until he mentioned a certain yellow clothed someone; he doesn't know that part though. He thinks it looks like she's about to burst into tears. And her screen has error all over it. He didn't even know it could do that.

 _Okay something is really wrong._ He leaves mildly worried. No, very worried. Pidge has never had that on her screen. Ever.

Pidge can feel her face go warm with both embarrassment and the recurring thoughts of a future with everyone in it. Mostly a lot of Hunk. She opens her holographic screen again to see the daunting message ERROR. A future with him would be nice. All the home cooked meals and even more sessions of him teaching her how to cook and bake. The intimate conversations of nothing and everything. The late night inventing and coding together. His smile. There would be no need to but rather the want of getting something done together. God what a nerd.

 _Reality check Pidge, you are sixteen, in an intergalactic war and thinking about getting into a relationship with your best friend, a teammate on Team Voltron mind you! This could jeopardize so many things. What things? Lets see: Future missions. The team vibe might- no- will get weird. A FUCKING WAR. Your coding skills I mean look at that shit. Worst of all: Your friendship. Hunk means a lot. Painfully a lot. You can't risk losing that by dating him if you were to break up. Assuming he doesn't reject you first. Imagine how awkward that is in itself. He just turned 18. You could have realized this at the Garrison. You may be the smartest paladin but that doesn't make you the most lovable. Someone worth that type of time with him. Are you willing to find out? Do you want to know?_

With that Pidge can't take the swirling darkening thoughts in her head anymore. She closes her eyes, and lets sleep take the reigns. She just might tell her dad. She can't keep this in forever but she can always try.

 _Do I want to know?_

* * *

Lance's walk turns into a determined sprint. Is she sick? Was she really telling the truth? The whole truth? Is she angry? Does this have to do with her dad leaving soon? Was his newfound sister going to cry? Maybe I should just ask Hunk. Oh no NO! What if our Pidgeon needs an intervention! Blue Paladin, handsome ninja sharpshooter Lance is on the case.

* * *

Shiro was having a good day for "good day" standards in space. He hasn't really had a good day these days. He feels this incessant urge to do things and say things that have never occurred to him. That wouldn't have occurred to him. Like the thoughts weren't his own. It felt foreign to be in his own skin.

But today was a good day. The Blades of Marmora updated them on the current status of liberated planets. He trained. He felt at ease for the most part. He cooked with Hunk which was a huge change. A nice one at that. Especially since back on Earth he loved home cooked food without being the one who actually putting in any work. Adam would do all the cooking…

He ran into Pidge earlier. She was doing her independent coding thing. It was just a little off putting that she wasn't with Hunk but Pidge was Pidge. And Pidge loved her alone time as much as the next person. She spent most of her time talking to her dad and working up code and comparing code with him. It was nice to see them reunite at last. He remembers how the Holt's would ramble about the small snarky genius on there way to Kerberos and how they looked forward to sharing this massive space experience with her.

Right now Shiro was in the lounge area with Allura making the most of this down time. Coran was probably showing off the Castle of Lions to Sam with the classic "Grand-pap truly was a genius" lecture. This would be short-lived. Shiro knew it was a waiting game before-

"We have a problem!" the voice echoed throughout the room. Probably even a in few halls.

Shiro jolted up, eyes widened, making a of punching motion into the air instinctually and his robotic hand glowied purple. Allura, who was starting to doze off on the other side of the circular couch found herself floundering and only barely catching herself from falling off.

"My gods Lonce! What could be so urgent that-"

"Something" he jumped unto the headrest of the couch where he stood standing with uncanny balance until declaring with his finger raised into the air "is wrong with Pidge!"

Suddenly, the annoyed and tired face Allura had morphed into a more solemn look as she turned and raised her gaze to see a serious look on Lance's face, despite his highly unorthodox entrance. "What?"

This caught Shiro's attention too. Pidge was fine earlier. More likely better than fine considering her search for her dad had come to an end. But this had to do with the daughter of one of his closest friends. And he might as well have adopted her as a daughter while in space considering all the comforting hugs and times she's asked for his advice.

"Well. Start from the beginning." Shiro turned his body towards Lance as did Allura. Lance jumped once more in a fashion that he ended up sitting in between Allura and Shiro, clearly eager to share his story.

He proceeded to retell the conversation he had earlier and what he saw as "suspicious behavior" from before. How sometimes her face would go red in the kitchen, her long gazes into empty space, and she would try to play it off, or run away, or she pack a nice hard punch to his arm at the reminder of any of these things actually happening.

"Lance, I am sure Pidge would appreciate the concern, but I saw her earlier and I really don't think she's sad. We're all exhausted. Let her have her space and if she wants to tell us, she'll come. Besides, if she had something to say she doesn't exactly hold back on anyone."

The look on Lance's face was undeterred. He turned to Allura, "Well?"

Allura looked pensive, taking in everything Lance has told him for a few moments.

"I'm sorry Shiro, but I think Lonce has a point. I too have noticed a lot of Pidge's recent odd behaviors. I think the mice mentioned to me that Pidge does have a secret up her sleeve."

Shiro and Lance exchanged unknowing glances. How much do those mice know? What did they hear?

Already anticipating a barrage of follow up questions, Allura was quick to clarify.

"I don't necessarily know what Pidge is hiding. It might not be urgent but as a paladin it is important for all of us to be mentally well and to support one another. The mice tried to get her to tell them but she told them-" Allura cleared her throat preparing for a Pidge impression, "'Haha sike! I know more than to trust you little motherfuckers!' And then she ran into her room. Quite an odd reaction."

Their faces went white, not entirely sure if Allura knew what she had just told them. They should probably give them a Human 101 lesson in slang before landing on Earth. Until then, they had to press on the Pidgey problem and tell Allura later.

Lance decided to break the silence. "Uhm. Wow. Okay So what should we do? We can't just let her go through whatever this is alone."

Allura gave a calm nod. But she really didn't feel calm. She has to deal with the whole Lotor wanting to "side" with team Voltron and his urgency to claim the Galran throne. And now Pidge, someone whom has shown her a great deal of honesty, sass, and cunning is being troubled emotionally with no one knowing why. Well, maybe there is a possibility of two people knowing.

In a way, Shiro was a father even back on Earth with Keith. Taking part in raising him with Adam and letting him slowly unravel his feelings to them. "I'm telling you guys maybe we should wait. In time Pidge will be ready and we can all handle this on her terms. And maybe her feelings have nothing to do with us and Pidge wants to try to sort them out. We'll still be here for her if she eventually chooses to have us help her. We'll be ready."

Allura wasn't going to drop this so easily. But neither was Lance. Allura has a plan now. Whether it was a good one is debatable.

"Of course Shiro! You are absolutely right. 'Patience yields focus' as you say!" Lance looked at her in disbelief.

"Allura bu-"

"Hush now Lonce! Shiro can leave with his mind at ease and rest in his room until further notice. It would do him very well." Allura hurried Shiro out of the room, shooing away Lance's thoughts, and Shiro didn't object. He did need a rest. He was concerned as to why Allura had more urgency than she would intended to give off but he trusted that they would take his advice.

The door closed shut and Allura whirled around at Lance with her eyebrows creased and Lance raised his eyebrow.

"We are going to do something and it needs to happen. Now. I have a plan."

His face lit up. Now was a time for action.


End file.
